The best marriage advice I ever got was long before I was ever married.

An elder from my church could see that I really, really, really liked this Joshua Bennett kid. So he said,

"Make a list of all his faults.

I mean, every single one."

Really? Does that sound like a good idea for building a strong relationship?

"Then go down that list, one item at a time.

Choose to accept each of those faults. If you come to one that you can't accept, then don't marry him. But if you make it through the list, then marry him and enjoy it. ... Later, when you're married and he has the same faults and they're driving you up a wall, you can preserve your sanity by knowing that you've already accepted that about him and it's okay."

This sounded really strange to me, but it was immensely helpful.

The same things that bugged me about Joshua before we got married are the same flaws that he still has to this day; apparently saying your vows does not instantly perfect a person. But I've chosen to accept and love and support him---so I can get on to really enjoying him :)

Eight years into this marriage and I'm happier than ever---not because I married a perfect man (he's really great! but he's not perfect), but because I chose to accept the man I married.

Good advice, Stan. Thanks.

moves and removes