He's Been Answering

Perhaps it's because of my prayers asking for such a thing, or perhaps it's just because my God is a holy Pursuer, but lately the LORD has been trying to change me from the inside out. Usually when I pray for God to change me, I'm unconsciously asking for Him to do it painlessly, quickly, thoroughly, and--please--in a way that does not inconvenience me. So when this change hurts I want to reject it. When this change requires something of me, I'm ready to give up and go distract myself with nonsense.


I've asked that God would help me to set aside my pride and vanity. But when He invites to forego my rituals and expenditures on vanity of appearance, I balk. I'm not ready to face the world with my bad skin and my flat hair. Do I need concealer and a blow dryer to be a person?


I've asked that God would help me to make the most of my life, to do and to be with excellence, to love what is good and become more like Him. But when He points out that I'm wasting my life with TV, I want to argue about the quality of programming or start comparing myself to others that I judge are worse off than I am. Do I think that I can hang on to Christ and to the world at the same time? I wish I could, and yet I wish I could sing sincerely that old hymn, "Take the world, but give me Jesus...."


I've asked that God would direct me into the future that He desires for me, that He would put me where I'm supposed to be-- yet I've asked Him to choose from my multiple choice list, and I've been keen to point out my top choices. But if God asks me to consider a future in option "E: None of the Above," I get to feeling a little anxious. Can I really be more than titles and positions, be more than my job or my degrees?


I know He works in many ways (many of them mysterious) and on many levels with many people. With me right now regarding this, He has pointed out sin in my life and asked me to choose Him instead. But it's uncomfortable. Sometimes it hurts. It means the putting to death of my self... with a sometimes weak faith that He'll resurrect me in His own image.


What I want to be is surrendered to God. What I want to do is to love Him with everything I've got. What I'm finding is that it's surprisingly difficult to say YES and "Amen" as He answers my own prayers.

Self-Pity and Christ's Heavenly Ministry

In the car driving home. Back ache. Raining, yet sun in my eyes. Tiredness.
My heart is hurting. I feel confused and helpless and just as I'm giving in to the darkly satisfying sense of self-pity, the words of the song playing through my speakers come through.


Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea, 
A great high priest whose name is Love,
who ever lives and pleads for me...


And I realize that self-pity is stupid. I have a Savior who loves me, watches over me, pleads His blood before the Father on my behalf, blesses me a thousand times over, is preparing a place for me beside Him in eternity. My petty problems are nothing to cry over.


Alleluia! Alleluia!
Praise the one risen Son of God!

Who is this person?

ENFJs weave and strengthen the collective fabric of social conventions and interactions. Inclusiveness is important and they are particularly sensitive to those who are excluded. They focus on others, feeling a glow when those around them are happy, and troubled when something is amiss. They are natural cheerleaders, often expressing support, gratitude, and encouragement, and heaping praise onto those they appreciate. They take note of what is being done and what needs doing, offering their assistance wherever necessary. ENFJs enjoy organising group activities and tend to take their commitments seriously. In general, they are reliable and do not like to disappoint others. As team players and project leaders, they have a gift for rallying their players, focusing on what is being done right and each member's strengths. They are loyal and they expect loyalty. They carry conversations well, finding common ground with their speaker. They tend to find the correct and gracious way to respond in any given situation, no matter how tense or uncomfortable it is.


I am absolutely stunned by these results, not because it doesn't fairly describe me as I am now, but because this is an amazingly different person than Previous Me -- fiercely independent, aloof, unable to empathize, quick to criticize, unskilled at encouragement, anti-team everything. Dear GOD, what happened to me?? 


You.


.

Come and Seek and Find

Have you a sense of want in your soul? Do you hunger 

and

 thirst after righteousness? Then this is an evidence that Christ has wrought upon your heart, 

and

 created this sense of need, in order that He may be sought after to do those things for you through the endowment of His Holy Spirit which it is impossible for you to do for yourself.

The Lord specifies no conditions except that you hunger for His mercy, desiring His counsel, 

and

 long for His love.

“Ask!” The asking makes it manifest that you realize your necessity, 

and

 if you ask in faith, you will receive. The Lord has pledged His word, 

and

 it cannot fail. That you feel 

and

 know that you are a sinner is sufficient argument in asking for His mercy 

and

 compassion. The condition upon which you may come to God is not that you shall be holy, but that you shall ask God to cleanse you from all sin 

and

 purify you from all iniquity. Then why wait longer? Why not take God at His word, 

and

say:

“Here, Lord, I give myself to Thee,

‘Tis all that I can do”?

If Satan comes to cast his shadow between you 

and

 God, accusing you of sin, tempting you to distrust God 

and

 doubt His mercy, say: I cannot allow my weakness to come between me 

and

 God; for He is my strength. My sins, which are many, are laid upon Jesus, my divine Substitute 

and

Sacrifice. 

“Nothing in my hand I bring.

Simply to thy cross I cling.”

No man can look within himself 

and

 find anything in his character that will recommend him to God, or make his acceptance sure. It is only through Jesus, whom the Father gave for the life of the world, that the sinner may find access to God. Jesus alone is our Redeemer, our Advocate 

and

Mediator; in Him is our only hope for pardon, peace, 

and

 righteousness. It is by virtue of the blood of Christ that the sin-stricken soul can be restored to soundness. Christ is the fragrance, the holy incense which makes your petition acceptable to the Father. Then can you not say: 

“Just as I am, without one plea,

But that Thy blood was shed for me, 

And

 that Thou bid’st me come to Thee,

O Lamb of God, I come.”

Coming to Christ does not require severe mental effort 

and

 agony; it is simply accepting the terms of salvation that God has made plain in His Word.

The blessing is free to all.

The invitation is, “Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, 

and

 he that hath no money; come ye, buy,

and

 eat; yea, come, buy wine 

and

 milk without money 

and

 without price. Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? 

and

 your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, 

and

 eat ye that which is good, 

and

 let your soul delight itself in fatness” (

Isaiah 55:1, 2

).

[Ellen White, "Come and Seek and Find," 

1 Selected Messages

, 332-333. First appeared as an article in the

Signs of the Times,

 December 19, 1982.]