in peace such war

I live, and yet methinks I do not breathe;
I thirst and drink; I drink and thirst again;
I sleep, and yet I dream I am awake;
I hope for that I have; I have and want;
I sing and sigh; I love and hate at once.
O tell me restless soul, what uncouth jar
Doth cause such want in store, in peace such war?

The author of this lovely gem is anonymous, but it very well could be any one of us; I know it could be me. Restless. Unsatisfied. Fitful. Unsettled. Anxious. That's me, at least lately. I feel so tumulted! (I'm making that word up.) I feel sad then sweet then carefree then obligated then afraid then happy then needy then angry then hurt then something else and something else again. 

God is really shaking me up, and I'm on to Him. You know how we read the story of Elijah hiding in the cave and we always say, "God wasn't in the wind. God wasn't in the earthquake. God wasn't in the fire. He was in the little quiet voice"? Yeah, well, sometimes God comes to ME in wind and fire. Sometimes He shakes the earth right beneath my feet, sending me reeling and confused. All the porcelain plates in my emotional cabinets have been rattled and smashed. There is a crack in the wall of my habitation. The message is: Find a new place to live. 

But I would rather not find a new place to live. I feel that this old place had been quite comfortable; not perfect, prone to leaking and a little exposed to the elements, but it was familiar. And I like familiar! 

God is calling me into deeper surrender, and I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of what I might have to give up, afraid of who I might become, afraid of what that new future might look like, afraid of not being up to the task, yet afraid of NOT trying it. I'm afraid to be a real disciple of Jesus. All of the sudden all these hymns sound so scary, the story of James and John leaving their nets has become frightening. I want to avoid it, avoid it all. Frankly, I want to avoid HIM. Stop calling me! Leave me alone! Let me splash in the shallow waters! The water is so warm here and so safe here. . . . 

I just got really upset at Joshua, and all my upsetness seemed to come from nowhere really but when it came, it really came, and it shot out of my fingertips and moved through my feet and poured out of my mouth and spilled over my eyelashes. But now that all that anger has gone back out to tide and left only puddles around my feet, I realize that I wasn't angry at Joshua. I'm just reeling from this tumult, I'm just tired of this struggle. I want solid ground. I want a house-- even if it has to be a new one.

      Now of that long pursuit
      Comes on at hand the bruit;
That Voice is round me like a bursting sea:
      "And is thy earth so marred,
       Shattered in shard on shard?
Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest Me!
      . . . .
All which I took from thee I did but take,
      Not for thy harms,
But just that thou might'st seek it in My arms.
      All which thy child's mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for thee at home:
      Rise, clasp My hand, and come."

      Halts by me that footfall:
      Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?

--Francis Thompson

Feasts

     Last year a wealthy widow in India spent $37,500 to throw a feast for 100,000 people. Phuljharia Kunwar was 80 years old at the time and felt that she might not live much longer. With the thought of death before her, she threw this feast, hoping that it would please the gods and secure for her a place in heaven. One man who attended the feast told reporters that "She was worried that no one would care about throwing a feast after her death." And so at the end of her life Kunwar spent a part of her fortune on a good deed, seeking a legacy for her life here and hope for the life hereafter. She threw a feast hoping that it would get her into heaven.

     In the kingdom of God, this picture is reversed. We see Jesus inviting us to a banquet that He hosts, and if we say yes to His invitation He grants us meaning in this life and a place by His side in eternity. What a deal! "Then the angel said to me, 'Write: "Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!"'" (Revelation 19:9)

Ecological Facts

clouds are not made of cotton, as children suppose.
no, they are 95% goose feathers, 5% down,
with soft flannel underbellies.

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four authors reflect on The Coming

I. "Simeon's Song" by Luke
"God, you can now release your servant;
     release me in peace as you promised.
  With my own eyes I've seen your salvation;
     it's now out in the open for everyone to see:
  A God-revealing light to the non-Jewish nations,
     and of glory for your people Israel."


Jesus' father and mother were speechless with surprise
at these words. Simeon went on to bless them, and
said to Mary his mother,


"This child marks both the failure and
     the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted--
     the pain of a sword-thrust through you--
But the rejection will force honesty,
   as God reveals who they really are."


II. "The Sun Comes Up" by Matthew
When Jesus got word that John had been arrested, he returned to Galilee.
He moved from his hometown, Nazareth, to the lakeside village Capernaum,
nestled at the base of the Zebulun and Naphtali hills.
This move completed Isaiah's sermon:


Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali,
     road to the sea, over Jordan,
       Galilee, crossroads for the nations.
People sitting out their lives in the dark
        saw a huge light;
      Sitting in the dark, dark country of death,
        they watched the sun come up.


This Isaiah-prophesied sermon came to life in Galilee
the moment Jesus started preaching. He picked up where John left off:
"Change your life. God's Kingdom is here."


III. "The Real Drama" by Mark
John wore a camel-hair habit, tied at the waist
with a leather belt. He ate locusts and wild field honey.
As he preached he said,


"The real action comes next: The star in this drama,
to whom I'm a mere stagehand, will change your life.
I'm baptizing you here in the river,
turning your old life in for a kingdom life.
His baptism--a holy baptism by the Holy Spirit--
will change you from the inside out."


At this time, Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee
and was baptized by John in the Jordan.
The moment he came out of the water,
he saw the sky split open and God's Spirit,
looking like a dove, come down on him.
Along with the Spirit, a voice:


"You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love,
pride of my life."


IV. "The Life-Light" by John
The Life-Light was the real thing:
       Every person entering Life
       he brings into Light.
He was in the world,
       the world was there through him,
       and yet the world didn't even notice.
He came to his own people,
       but they didn't want him.
But whoever did want him,
        who believed he was who he claimed
        and would do what he said,
These are the God-begotten,
       not blood-begotten,
       not flesh-begotten,
       not sex-begotten.
The Word became flesh and blood,
       and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
       the one-of-a-kind glory,
       like Father, like Son,,
   Generous inside and out,
       true from start to finish.

These four selections come from the writers of the four biblical gospels: Luke, Matthew, Mark, and John. Each of them uses either poetic language, poetic form, or both to describe the significance of the Coming, the advent of the Christ. Each author presents a unique facet of Christmas, something worth meditating on during the season when we think it's all manger and swaddling cloths.  

The paraphrases are taken from Eugene Peterson's The Message.