A Thousand Little Gifts

Today I wrap you a bundle of matches;
tomorrow I wrap you a flame.

I bring you a thousand little gifts and lay
them at your door in hope that your dark eye
will catch the low gleam of silver paper beneath the door
and you will think that it is a light somewhere and
you will remember that the light is with me and
with a flicker of desire you will perhaps
reach toward the handle of the door to
reach for me.

But the hand of the Lord is heavy; your hand
is heavy too.

I wrap you a joke, one of your favorites, and
then an incantation.

Three days from now I will have no more
paper and I will lay myself down to push
just my wishes underneath your door.
I will stay. Till I am all the way empty I will give
in, give up, give out for
you, for give.

A thousand little gives. For you.

Photo by Ole Jorgen Bakken

mumble mumble mystery

We’ll make the writers scribble paradox instead;
we’ll put a stop to the word incarnation.

We’ll pull the word out of the mouth, a series
of silk scarf syllables, pull the magic
out till we each have to feel our own teeth
and mumble the word mystery.

Mumble, hark the heralds, mumble,
in excelsis, mumble, shepherds pie
and indigestion, running to the run
-down room to find *that thing* wrapped
in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger:
mumble mumble mystery,
mumble mumble bow the knee.

No word comes to mind,
to heart, to pen, to tongue,
to have or to hold.

We the magi have come for a star
and have found a toddler. The command
-ment stands so we kneel and open boxes
of our best doctrines, our very best words,
that you, infant king, may be crowned with
incarnation.

The Human Heart

If your life and health are going really, really well, you might not think about that organ beating in your chest night and day.🫀 It's a phenomenal thing--electricity courses over and through it and those tiny lightning strikes coordinate the pumping, squeezing, opening, closing, receiving, sending that all happens in the moment we call a "beat." 🫀 The rhythm adjusts to the demands of your moment, speeding up or slowing down to give your body the oxygen it needs just when it needs it. Impeccable timing. 🫀 The chambers, valves, and vessels wrap around one another in this intricate architecture no bigger than your fist, beating, beating, beating. 🫀 But the single most amazing thought I've had about the human heart lately is that there is one in heaven, beating, beating, beating for you and for me.

“But when Christ came as a high priest of the good things . . . he entered once for all into the the holy places, not with the blood of goats and calves, but with his own blood, thus obtaining eternal redemption.” Hebrews 9:11-12

Be Anxious for Nothing

these are june roses from my father’s yard. even without the color, they’re beautiful to me.

Do you feel anxious? I mean, right now? I've been on a quest to understand the experience of anxiety for the entirety of my adult life. Here's some of what I've learned.

+ All humans experience anxiety in life. + Anxiety emerges from our bodies and our thoughts; anxiety can be soothed by our bodies and our thoughts. + Anxiety might sound like "You made a mistake; you are a mistake; you need to fix this" but usually the truth is that you need to receive love and nourishment. + Social media is definitely, definitely intensifying your anxiety. So is caffeine. So is alcohol. + There is a divine peace that transcends my understanding, a peace that I always have access to. + God is not disappointed in me for the sensations I experience. + I am here, right now, and I am safe.